Many of us remember attending our first funeral. It sticks with you. Sometimes it brings a mix of emotions and discomfort. Sometimes it feels distant from the person being honored. Either way, those early experiences shape what we want—or don’t want—for ourselves when it comes to funeral and memorial planning.
Today, more families are moving beyond the traditional format. Cremation, celebrations of life, and even “living funerals” are becoming more common. If you have preferences, the best time to plan is before a crisis forces your loved ones to guess.
Death planning is part of estate planning
Your estate plan isn’t only about who inherits your assets. It can also cover who has authority to handle final arrangements and how costs will be paid. Without clear instructions, decisions about your remains are usually left to whoever has legal authority—often a spouse, adult child, parent, or sibling. That person may do their best, but their “best” may not match your wishes.
A 2025 survey found that two-thirds of Americans have thought through end-of-life arrangements in detail (service type, location, music). Ten percent even chose the “overall mood,” and nearly one in five think about their own death daily.1
But thinking about it and documenting it are different. In the same study, death and estate planning ranked as one of the hardest topics to discuss, and many called it uncomfortable.
Cost matters, and timing matters
Funeral and memorial costs are typically paid from your estate, and they often must be handled quickly. These expenses usually receive high priority and may be paid before many other debts—but without a plan, only “reasonable” costs are typically covered. More elaborate plans may be reduced or not fully covered.
Choice Mutual estimates the average cost in 2026 of a traditional funeral with burial is about $8,000–$9,000.2 And extras add up fast: flowers, burial plots, grave markers, and optional items (even something like releasing doves) can push costs beyond what families expect.3
People fund final expenses in different ways—life insurance/final expense policies, a dedicated savings account, prepaid arrangements, or a POD account. But one of the most common “plans” is still: “my family will figure it out.”4
If you want your memorial to reflect you, “figure it out” is a heavy burden to leave behind.
Meaningful alternatives to a traditional funeral and memorial planning
Living funerals
A living funeral is a gathering held while the person being honored is still alive.5
It can be formal or casual, private or community-based. The point is connection—stories, gratitude, and time together. Burial or cremation still happens later, so it helps to document both the celebration and the final disposition plan. Timing is tough with planning a living funeral.
Celebrations of life
A celebration of life is usually held after death and often feels less formal than a traditional funeral.6
The body is typically not present, which gives families flexibility in timing and location. These events often happen weeks or months later and focus on personality, values, and shared memories. If specific details matter to you—music, menu, a theme, guest keepsakes—write them down so your loved ones aren’t guessing.
Cremation with a flexible memorial
More Americans are choosing cremation than ever before.7 Cremation can allow memorial services to happen later, in multiple locations, or in a format that works for a geographically spread family. Costs can be lower than traditional burial, but there may still be expenses for urns, interment (putting urn in the ground or a niche), scattering, or a memorial gathering.
Green or natural burial
Green burials aim to reduce environmental impact by avoiding embalming, vaults, and nonbiodegradable materials. 8 Availability varies by region, and planning ahead matters because options can be limited.
Technology-enabled or virtual memorials
Livestreamed services, hybrid memorials, and fully virtual gatherings can help include loved ones who can’t travel.9 Online planning has also changed how some families arrange services, including direct cremation options. Good communication and reliable tech are key if this is your plan.
Other alternatives
Some families are also exploring newer options like human composting where legally available.10 Others focus on ongoing memorials: scholarships, charitable funds, tree plantings, annual gatherings, or private family remembrance followed by a public event later.
From ideas to action: how to make your wishes usable
Write it down where it can be found
Your preferences only help if your decision-makers can access them. Many people use:
- a will for high-level direction
- a letter of instruction for practical details
- a legacy letter to explain meaning and values
Talk about it (at least with the right people)
A short conversation can prevent confusion later. It also reduces pressure on your family during an already emotional time.
Decide how it will be paid for
This is where memorial planning becomes true legacy planning. Set aside funds, use insurance, prepay certain services so money is accessible when needed. Cost shouldn’t be the reason your wishes don’t get followed.
Closing thought
Your life is personal. Your memorial should be too. Whether you want something traditional, simple, modern, faith-based, nature-focused, or celebratory, your loved ones will have an easier time honoring you if you leave clear instructions—and a practical plan to fund them.
If you’d like help documenting end-of-life wishes as part of your estate planning, we can help you build a plan that is clear, consistent, and easy to carry out.
- Two-Thirds of Americans Have “Planned” Their Funerals, But Majority Avoid Estate Planning Conversations, StudyFinds (Sept. 30, 2025), https://studyfinds.org/americans-planned-funerals-avoid-estate-conversations. ↩︎
- Anthony Martin, How Much Does A Funeral Cost?, Choice Mutual (July 22, 2025), https://choicemutual.com/blog/funeral-cost. ↩︎
- Id. ↩︎
- Anthony Martin, 2025 Survey Results: How Technology Is Reshaping Funeral Preferences, Choice Mutual (June 13, 2025), https://choicemutual.com/blog/funeral-preferences. ↩︎
- Jeanne Sager, What Is a Living Funeral? A New Perspective on Celebrating Life, Care.com (Dec. 8, 2025), https://www.care.com/c/what-is-a-living-funeral-celebration-of-life. ↩︎
- Id. ↩︎
- Americans Choosing Cremation at Historic Rates, NFDA Report Finds, NFDA (Sept. 18, 2025), https://nfda.org/news/media-center/nfda-news-releases/id/9772/americans-choosing-cremation-at-historic-rates-nfda-report-finds. ↩︎
- What Are the Different Types of Eco-Friendly Burials?, Return Home, https://returnhome.com/what-are-the-different-types-of-eco-friendly-burials (last visited Feb. 24, 2026). ↩︎
- Sare Marsden-Ille, Death Care Disrupted: How Cremation and Tech Are Changing the Funeral Industry, USFuneralsOnline (Nov. 15, 2024), https://www.us-funerals.com/death-care-disrupted-how-cremation-and-tech-are-changing-the-funeral-industry. ↩︎
- Sarah Vallie, What Is Human Composting?, WebMD (Jan. 5, 2023), https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-is-human-composting. ↩︎
