Most people have heard of the gender pay gap. Fewer people talk about the estate planning gender gap—but it shows up in real life all the time. Women are often managing households, caregiving, and complex family logistics, yet many still delay formal estate planning until a crisis forces the issue.
That delay can be costly. The overall estate planning rate in the U.S. is low (less than one-quarter of Americans have a basic will).1 Within those already low numbers, men are more likely than women to have formal plans.
This is not just about income. It’s also about timing, priorities, and the roles women are more likely to carry over a lifetime.
From the Pay Gap to the Planning Gap
Women often face a tougher financial math problem over time. Many earn less on average, but also tend to need resources for longer. Women generally have longer life expectancies (81 years for women versus 76 years for men).2 Living longer can also mean higher healthcare costs later in life. One estimate puts retirement healthcare costs at $150,000 for men and $165,000 for women.3
When you pair longevity with higher expected healthcare costs, the need for clear planning becomes more urgent—not less. And yet, women are still less likely to have a will, a trust, or a full set of incapacity documents in place.
Why This Gap Matters
Estate planning is not just about transferring money at death. It’s also about control while you’re alive.
Without updated documents, families can face:
- delays in medical decision-making during an emergency
- confusion about who can pay bills or access accounts
- preventable court involvement if someone becomes incapacitated
- conflict among relatives who are all “sure” they know what you would have wanted
A good plan (often using wills and trusts together) reduces uncertainty and protects the people who may have to step in quickly.
How to Close the Gap
You don’t need to become a legal expert to take smart steps. Here’s what tends to work in real life.
Start with literacy, not legal jargon
If estate planning feels technical, focus on the basics first:
- Who would make medical decisions for you?
- Who would handle finances if you couldn’t?
- Who should inherit, and how do you want that handled?
Once those answers are clear, the documents follow.
Treat your plan like protection—not paperwork
Many women approach money as stability: keeping a household running, protecting kids, avoiding chaos. Legacy planning fits naturally into that mindset. It’s not just “what happens when I die?” It’s “how do I protect my people if life gets messy?”
Have the conversations earlier than feels comfortable
These discussions tend to be easier before there’s a health scare, a divorce, or a death in the family. If it helps, treat it like a practical family meeting: roles, responsibilities, and a shared plan.
Demand clarity from your advisors
You should be able to understand the strategy in plain English. Ask your attorney to walk you through scenarios:
- If I’m in the hospital, who can talk to doctors?
- If bills need to be paid next week, who can act?
- If I die unexpectedly, what happens first—and who is in charge?
If your professional can’t explain it clearly, that’s a red flag.
Plan in stages and review regularly
An estate plan is not “one and done.” A good cadence is every three to five years, and sooner after major life events.
Start with the essentials, then layer in complexity as needed:
- medical power of attorney + HIPAA authorization
- financial power of attorney
- will and (often) a revocable living trust
- beneficiary designation review
- guardianship planning for minor children
- trust provisions that protect inheritances from creditors, divorce, or mismanagement
Choose professionals who respect your perspective
A strong advisor listens, explains options, and helps you make confident decisions—without talking down to you or rushing you through the process.
A Practical Next Step
If you’ve been meaning to “get around to” estate planning, consider this your nudge. Start with the essentials. Get clear on who should step in, what you want protected, and how you want your legacy planning to work. Then put it in writing, in a way that actually holds up when your family needs it.
- Danika Miller, Worst States in Which to Die Without a Will in 2025, Caring (Feb. 11, 2025), https://www.caring.com/resources/worst-states-to-die-without-a-will-2025. ↩︎
- CDC: Life Expectancy Up, Mortality Down in 2023, Am. Hosp. Ass’n (Dec. 19, 2024), https://www.aha.org/news/headline/2024-12-19-cdc-life-expectancy-mortality-down-2023. ↩︎
- Javier Simon, You’ll Need Way More Money Than You Think for Health Care Costs in Retirement, Money (May 16, 2022), https://money.com/healthcare-costs-retirement-fidelity-study-2022. ↩︎
