Not married? More couples are building serious, long-term relationships without getting married. Read this to get estate planning steps to protect your partner and assets – all things that are becoming increasingly important for couples who are not married. And the numbers back that up. The number of unmarried partners in the United States more than tripled between 1996 and 2018 (from 6 million to 19 million).1 Among adults age 30 and younger, 12% were living with an unmarried partner in 2019, compared with 5% in 1995.2 And as of 2024, married-couple households were 47% of U.S. households—one of the lowest points since tracking began in 1940.3
But even as relationships evolve, the law often does not. If you are not married, your partner usually does not automatically have the legal right to it. So follow estate planning steps to protect your partner and assets without proper documentation.
- make medical decisions for you,
- access or manage your finances, or
- inherit from you if you die without planning.
If you die without an estate plan (intestate), state law decides who inherits—and long-term unmarried partners are typically left out. That is why unmarried couples need a plan that is built intentionally, not assumed. Estate planning steps to protect your partner and assets become essential for these couples.
Revocable Living Trusts
A revocable living trust can be the foundation of a strong estate plan for unmarried couples. It lets you:
- set rules for how your money and property will be managed while you are alive and well,
- provide a seamless plan if you become incapacitated, and
- direct distributions after death—often without probate and with more privacy.
Most people name themselves as trustee while they are capable. If something happens, a successor trustee can step in without the delays and public nature of court involvement.
Trusts often cost more than a simple will, but they can solve problems a will cannot—especially when your partner would otherwise have no default legal standing. Taking estate planning steps to protect your partner and assets is vital when your significant other lacks automatic legal rights.
Wills
A will directs where your assets go at death and names the person who will handle the process (often called an executor or personal representative). If you have minor children, a will is also where you nominate a guardian.
However, a will does not help much if you are alive but incapacitated. And it generally requires probate, which can be slower, more public, and more expensive. If you use a trust, you typically also sign a pour-over will, which acts like a safety net. It moves assets that were left outside the trust into the trust after death. That way, everything is handled under one coordinated set of instructions—even if probate is needed for the “left out” assets.
Beneficiary Designations
Some assets transfer outside of a will or trust. Retirement accounts and many insurance policies pass to whoever is listed on the beneficiary form—sometimes no matter what your estate plan says.
That is why beneficiary designations must be reviewed regularly. A common (and costly) mistake is forgetting to update a beneficiary after a breakup or divorce. If an ex is still listed, that person may legally inherit the account, even if you intended it to go to your current partner.
Depending on your goals, you might name your partner directly, name a trust, or use a combination. The right approach depends on taxes, creditor concerns, and how much control you want over timing and distributions.
Incapacity Planning: Where Unmarried Partners Are Most Vulnerable
A strong plan is not only about death. It is also about incapacity—when you are alive but unable to manage your affairs or communicate decisions.
Without incapacity documents, your loved ones may need court involvement (guardianship or conservatorship) to act for you. And when courts apply “default priority” rules, unmarried partners often do not come first—if they are included at all.
Key documents to consider include:
- Medical power of attorney (who makes healthcare decisions)
- Financial power of attorney (who manages legal/financial matters)
- Advance directive / living will (your end-of-life wishes)
- HIPAA authorization (who can access medical information)
These documents are often the difference between your partner being able to help immediately—or being forced to sit on the sidelines while decisions are made by others.
Securing Your Shared Future
If you are building a life together, your plan should answer a few core questions clearly:
- Who can act for you if you cannot?
- Who inherits what you have built?
- How do you keep the law from ignoring your relationship?
With the right planning, you can protect each other, reduce conflict, and make sure your wishes are honored—without relying on assumptions that do not apply to unmarried couples. In summary, following estate planning steps to protect your partner and assets ensures your choices are respected.
If you and your partner want a plan that fits your relationship and your life, our estate planning attorneys can help. Contact us for a complimentary initial consultation.
- Mike Schneider, Unmarried partners in US have tripled in 2 decades, AP News (Sept. 24, 2019), https://apnews.com/article/848605aad88a418c9b606c0f745ae33f. ↩︎
- Juliana Menasce Horowitz et al., The landscape of marriage and cohabitation in the U.S., Pew Rsch. Ctr. (Nov. 6, 2019), https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/the-landscape-of-marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/. ↩︎
- How has marriage in the US changed over time?, USAFacts (Feb. 11, 2025), https://usafacts.org/articles/state-relationships-marriages-and-living-alone-us/. ↩︎
